Procrastination in Preston - Boymen Butchers and Aural Physics.

Today was going to be a day of ACTION. Of GETTING SHIT DONE. Of COMPLETING TASKS. But the library didn’t have wifi so I ended up reading six and a half graphic novels. These are:

MIRROR MASK by Neil Gaiman

I Like My Job by Sarah Herman (meh)

Incognegro by Mat Johnson (v. good)

The Adventuress by Audrey Niffenegger

The ACME Novelty Library Number 18 – no other credits, interesting

White Out by Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber (this was the half- it was very good)

Urgh, I’m in Costa. Gwenda’s coffee was better than this stuff.

Why am I such a dick? I honestly think there’s some good stuff in my head, but it’s not going to get out if I keep being distracted by shiny nice things. I picked up The Dylan Dog Case Files but I didn’t get into it because I knew I’d be there all day. I was there all day anyway but never mind.

Around me were a few old men. One of the younger ones smelt a bit funky. Outside the library / museum is where the homeless congregate. A lot of them are ex-army. Around 4pm I became aware of a gentle snore. I tried to identify where it’s coming from but because it’s such an enclosed space and he’s not far away from me – only a couple of shelving units one way or the other – it was quite hard to tell.

HYPOTHESIS OF THE DAY – THE NEARER THE SOURCE OF A SOUND IS TO YOU IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE, THE MORE DIFFICULT IT IS TO TELL WHERE IT’S COMING FROM. If the man was snoring in an airport or a train station for example, I’m pretty sure I could identify where he was. But in that enclosed space, it was difficult. So I investigated. Turned out he was in the corner by the window, surrounded by newspapers with his feet up.

I decided to cook Chris my SPAGHETTI BOLOGNAISE SURPRISE (the surprise is that he’s not expecting it). I also bought him a scratch card. I went to the market to the butchers. There’s a particular butchers I like because it’s where all the boy butchers go to practice being men – allrightLOVEwhat’llitbeLOVEwhatyouavingforyourteaLOVEthereyagoLOVEcheersLOVE. It’s very sweet. I buy a pound of mince. The boyman asks me whether I’ve just finished work. I say I’ve just left the library. He asks me – what do you do there then, just sit there all day and read books? His enquiry is one of genuine curiosity, I detect no scorn or judgment in his voice, but I feel guilty – I’ve been sitting on my arse reading about a girl who lives in a caravan which is covered in her drawings and one day she falls asleep on the roof and wakes up INSIDE one of her drawings where some people are made of books and some people are half-book-half-cats and she’s got to defeat the evil princess WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE HERSELF trying to defeat HER to get away from THE EVIL QUEEN and he’s been up since 4.30am barehand wrestling cows and skinning them and mashing their flesh for me to chuck in a pan with a shop-bought sauce. I say yeah (sheepish) hasn’t been a very productive day, and buy another pound of mince by way of apology for being shit.